Happy Memorial Day!

Here are my cute boys visiting their daddy's grave.
We sure miss him!

A big thank you today and everyday to all the men and women who have fought or are fighting for our freedom! It is something that can never be repaid!
Happy Memorial Day Everyone!

Headstone

So the nightmares did not come true.

phew:)
I am really happy with how it turned out.
Hopefully Clint is too.

Here is the front

And here is the back
I want to thank everyone who continues to love and support us.
Things have been kinda rough lately. I am just missing the power Clint had to balance me out. When my patience would run out with the boys he would always be right there to pick up the slack. I feel like all I do these days is yell at my kids, I feel like we're always fighting. I just feel really alone sometimes. (which I know I'm not, I have the best family in the world who give me plenty of breaks) But needless to say I am pretty terrified of school getting out because right now in my head summer means that I don't have those few hours each day to regroup and regain some patience. I just hope the boys can have some patience with me, and I hope they still love me by the time this summer is over.

Nightmares

I have been having nightmares about the headstone lately.
A lot of them.
I never dream so it's freaking me out.
I dream that they spell our names wrong.
They put the wrong dates on.
The stone is the wrong color/shape etc.
And anything else that could possibly go wrong.
It's supposed to be in for Memorial Day so hopefully none of these nightmares will come true and these crazy dreams can stop! (I'll let you know...)

I mean really why can't, just once, I have a dream with Clint in it?
I miss him. Why does it seem like it just gets harder?

Our Weekend

Friday was a busy day...

Noah had his Teddy Bear Picnic at school

And Nik and Nate had Pirate Day!
Yes they are doing their best pirate face :)
I got to go help out with pirate day and let me just say I don't know how 1st grade teachers stay sane! I really wanted to hurt some of those kids (yes I'm a horrible person)

We all had a fun day!

And then Matt took them camping Friday night where they had a blast! Thanks Uncle Matt!
And I got to go watch my little brother Chris take home the crown at the Mr YSA 2nd ward competition. You're amazing Chris, those infomercials are gonna be a hit :)

On Saturday Nik & Nate had their last soccer game. They have had a fun year playing soccer and have had some great coaches. Now we just have to decide if they want to try out for competition soccer, no rush, we have until tomorrow at 6 to make a decision (aaaahhh)

We ended the weekend by watching Harry Potter 2. My boys love Harry Potter! While Clint and I were at the hospital the boys watched all of them at my moms and became slightly obsessed:) Well I had not seen any of them so for Easter I got them all of the movies. So we have started watching them, I'm not gonna lie I think they're a little creepy for 5 & 7 year olds but they sure do love them! My only complaint so far is why are they so blasted long :)

I am so lucky to have these boys in my life. They keep me going, even when they are driving me crazy :) They are such good examples to me! I love you boys!

I'm not gonna lie...
I was really hoping this 'the worlds gonna end today' stuff would've panned out. Today would've been a great day to see Clint.
I love you sweetie! And miss you more than anyone can imagine!

Just saw my first fathers day commercial :(

Made me cry.

I miss him.

The last couple weeks have been so crazy.
They have been so busy. More busy than I ever remember being before.
Which is probably good because there have also been some really rough days.
There was hitting two months without Clint. And then on April 21 it was a year from the day we first heard that word that changed our lives forever. Then our first Easter without him. And then Monday was my first birthday without him. It's all just really hard.

There are also so many great things that I need to blog about. But right now I am completely exhausted. I feel like all my posts have been so down lately. I really do think I'm doing alright most of the time. So I promise to try to post something fun and positive soon!
Thank you so much to all of you who are still keeping me and the boys in your thoughts and prayers. It is amazing the difference it makes in our lives. Love ya!

And just to tide you over here's a pic of my cute boys on one of our hikes in snow canyon over spring break...
Love these boys. They keep me going.