pictures

So here are some pictures of Clints awesome rash...he wouldn't let me take pics of the best area (it's on his upper thighs :) The pictures really don't do it justice, although it does look better today than it did yesterday!

It's in his scalp, which you really can't tell in this picture, but it was the part that drove him crazy...it was super itchy!

This is his central line. He just started with a weird bump underneath it today. We're hoping it is just a hematoma but they're worried it could be the beginning of an infection :(

The boys came up for a visit today! I miss those little turds! I think it's really good for Clint to see them, he misses them soooo much! It's also really good for the boys to see their daddy! (sorry about the blurry picture)

In more leukemia news...his blast counts are at 0%! And his white cell count was below 300 yesterday. So they say so far we are doing great, and that all his blood work & labs look really good! So let's just hope and pray that it stays that way!

waiting

So here we are...still in the hospital...still waiting. When we first came into the hospital last wednesday and they did all the tests they told us we wouldn't know a whole lot for about a week. Well it's been a week and now they said the biopsy results came back and put us in the intermediate risk group but that they needed more tests done to find out if we're in the bad intermediate or good intermediate risk group (pretty much the difference between doing chemo or doing a bone marrow transplant). So they sent those tests off and now we have another week to 10 days before we find out anything more. Any of you who know me very well know that I am not a patient person so this is very frustrating for me. I just really want to know what we are dealing with so we can know a little more what the future holds. But I have had to learn this past week just to take it one day at a time. Because if I start looking past one day I start going a little crazy...too many unknowns, too many questions, too many decisions. So here we sit just waiting, praying that he is in the 'good intermediate' group, praying that this chemo did its job, praying that Clints body will fight this leukemia with everything it has.
In better news Clint finished his first round of chemo today! He was really nervous about how sick it would make him but he just breezed right through it for the most part. He is even kinda excited to lose his hair (we'll see if it stays that way when it starts falling out). Also, his breathing seems to be improving, so hopefully the pnemonia will just go away with the antibiotics he is on. We were even able to turn down his oxygen a little bit today! In not so good news he developed a rash the last couple days that is pretty itchy and is driving him nuts! They're not sure if it's from the chemo or an allergic reaction to one of the many different antibiotics he's been on. They've switched up his antibiotics so let's hope that was it and that it goes away soon.
Well I'm off to bed. It's making me sleepy listening to Clint snoring while I'm typing this :) But thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers! Love You!

Yucky Test

Clint had his bronchotomy today and said it was the worst thing he's had to do since he got here. He was pretty much out for the actual procedure itself but before they did it they had to numb his throat and stuff. To do this they had to stick a syringe filled with lidocaine halfway down his throat and squirt it in. He said the lidocaine tastes worse than anything he's ever tasted. So he said it felt like you were drowning, puking, and gagging all at the same time! On the upside they did say it didn't look too bad in his lungs, no blood or anything so that's good. They took a piece of tissue to see if they could get anything to grow so they'd know better what was going on in his lungs. His white blood cell count is down to 1000 and his blast count is down to 2%. He did need blood today but his platlates stayed up good.
I did actually leave the hospital for almost 7 hours today! And Clint seemed to do just fine without me (should I be happy about that or not :) I picked up the boys from a friends house (thanks Amy they had a blast) and we went home and just did some normal stuff. We hung out and read their books while I did the laundry. For a minute I could almost make myself believe this was all a bad dream and Clint would be coming home anytime. But unfortunately that's not the case. Oh well I just have to believe that we'll get through this and be all the stronger for it. Right?!?
Well I'm off to bed, gonna try to get to sleep before 1am today! Clints already snoring away so hopefully we can both get a goodnights sleep (if such a thing exists in the hospital :) Love ya g'night!

Stupid Pnemonia

So it looks like Clint has pnemonia :( he also has rhinovirus(sp?) so he is kind of quarantined right now, anyone who comes in his room has to wear a mask and gloves and all that good stuff! They are taking him in the morning to do a bronchotomy (stick something down his throat into his lungs to get a piece of tissue so they can find out what's growing in his lungs) so that should be fun, he is just hoping that they put him under for that one. His white blood cell count is down to 1,600 today so that is good. His blast count (the % of leukimic cells) which was 77% when we came in was way down also, I can't remember the exact # but I think it was down to the teens or lower! That's about all the leukemia news we have gotten today, oh except he didn't need any blood today which was a first although he still did need platalates.
So I'm starting to get stressed about how to divide my time between Clint and the boys. It just sucks that it's at least a 45 minute drive each way so if I even just spend 2 hours at home with the boys that's almost 4 hours away from Clint! He says I need to go home and be mom to them but I just remember how bad it sucked when I was in the hospital when I was pregnant with Nik & Nate and when he left in the morning to go to work I hated it because the hospital is not a fun place to be, especially alone. Clint tells me that he'll be fine and I'm sure he will but I don't know if I will be. I hate even leaving the room to go get food! So how am I supposed to split my time between Clint and my boys? If anyone has any answers or suggestions I would love to hear them.
Okay I'm done complaining now. Sorry this post is a little bit of a downer! I promise we are hanging in there, it's a good thing Clint has always had such an optimistic attitude about everything because I think it is really helping him cope with this. When we first got here I was kind of breaking down but he just said we can't change what's gonna happen and if we really believe what we believe then we just have to trust in the Lord about what is meant to happen. Sometimes it's annoying how he can be all calm and have so much common sense even when his life has just been completely changed. I am so lucky that he is mine forever and ever! I love him so much!
Well I'm off to try and get a little sleep tonight (hopefully Clint will get some sleep tonight too, he didn't get much last night). Thanks to all for your thoughts and prayers, we love you! Good night!

Happy Birthday to me!

So today is my birthday and although this is definitely not where I ever thought I'd be spending my birthday I did get the one thing I've been wanting more than anything since our lives changed on Wednesday...my little family all together in the same room! :)
My mom & dad brought the boys up this afternoon and since they've all been a little sick we put them in masks (which they thought was kind of fun, at least for a little bit)

After we visited with daddy for a bit we went outside to eat some birthday cake

I was kicking myself after they left and I realized I didn't get one picture of all of us together, duh! So I tried to get a picture of Clint. This is the best he would give me, it's the "are you kidding me right now" look! Love this man!

In Leukemia news, we don't really have any new information other than we found out he has AML-M2 (I still don't really know what the M2 means, but they say it's pretty good on the scale of bad to worse kinds to have). Clint is still tolerating the chemo really well. He hasn't been nauseated at all but is just really tired. His white blood cell count is really coming down. Just to give you an idea of his white blood cell numbers on Tuesday when he first got his blood drawn at the dr's office his count was 229, 000 on Wednesday when we got to the hospital it was 245,000 Thursday, after they did the white cell depletionon wed, it was 150,000 then they started the chemo and on Friday it was about 100,000 Saturday it was 29,000 and today it was 3,300 and by the end of chemo it should be at 0 or close to it. Just to put that in perspective the normal white cell count is between 8,000-12,000! They said they were surprised he walked into the hospital because most people with that high of a count came in on a stretcher from the ER! He is on oxygen which is no fun, but they are worried about him getting pnemonia and stuff, and his oxygen levels have been low, but so far all his chest x-rays have come back clear. Oh and his stupid fever finally broke! Yeah! Hopefully it will not be coming back! Now we just need to get rid of his stupid cough! I do think that more than anything he is starting to get bored being here all day! He is already done and we're only on day 5 of at least a four week stay! They are wanting us to really limit visitors right now just because he is so susceptible to any bacteria, but I'm sure he would appreciate any emails, texts, or calls to pass the time.

Thanks again to everyone who is taking care of, or has taken care of our boys. We appreciate it more than you'll ever know! And thanks for all the birthday wishes! And don't forget to keep the prayers coming! Love you all!

1st night with chemo

So we made it through night #1with the chemo! Clint is doing suprisingly well, yeah! He hasn't had hardly any nausea (really who knows how to spell that?) and has just been pretty sore this morning, he said he feels like someone beat the crap out of him last night! I think the soreness might have to do with his crazy reaction to the ambien they gave him to help him sleep, he was acting/talking crazy we'll definitely stay away from ambien from now on! All his labs & numbers seem to be headed in the right direction so that's good. That's about all the news we've had this morning. Now if we could just get rid of this fever that will not go away (he's not a fan of the ice packs they're making him stick under his neck and in his armpits).
We can really feel all your love & prayers so keep them coming! Thanks & we love you!

News

So we got a little bit of good news today. Clints MRI came back completely normal (well except for a sinus infection) which is great because it means that more than likely it hasn't spread to his brain or spinal column. Also they were worried about his lungs but his x-rays came back clear, yeah! Two bits of good news in one day...we'll take it!
They started the chemo at about 4:30 today and so far (it's about 9:00) he's doing really good. Other than his cough and a stupid fever he can't get rid of he feels alright.
Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers, keep em coming! Love you all!

One word

It's amazing how one word can change your entire universe in an instant. That is what happened to our family yesterday. Clint hasn't been feeling well for the last week or two, just really out of energy and achy. Well between me, his mom, and his sister bugging him we finally got him to go to the dr. So we went on Tuesday to get him checked out, the Dr didn't seem to worried just gave him an antibiotic but told him he wanted to do some blood work. Well we wake up yesterday, just a usual morning, until about 9am when Clint got a call from the dr with the one word that changed everything...leukemia.
Now things are happening so fast. Our dr tells us to head right up to LDS hospital because it's the best (which I hope it really is) and to plan on staying there for at least 4 weeks. We come up here and they just start testing, poking, etc. So much information is coming at us it's hard to keep it all straight. Clint has had to endure so much in just the first day. He went through so many pokes and tests, got a central line put in, got a bone marrow biopsy, had white cell depletion, x-rays, etc. They will do an MRI this morning and then start chemo today.
We are going to need your prayers. All we really know right now is that it looks like Clint has acute myeloblastic leukemia (AML). We won't know much about his prognosis for about a week or so but he is young and strong so the docs seem pretty optimistic. I am trying to just stay positive because he has to be fine. I need him to get better. Our boys need him to get better. I am so lucky to get to be married to this amazing man! He is just taking this in stride.
So if we could get all your prayers to try to help his body react well to the chemo that would be so much appreciated. Thank you so much to all our family for taking care of the boys so I can be here with Clint. We are so lucky to have the best family around! I will try to keep everyone up to date here on the blog whenever we find out any new info. Thanks for all your prayers, texts, and emails they mean more than you know!

More Deer & Boys Being Boys

I just can't get enough of the deer! I love it!
I looked out the window to check on the boys yesterday and this is what I found. Noah had thrown his jacket in the tree and the boys all had sticks and lightsabers trying to get it down. Well they got it down but decided it was so much fun that they all started throwing their jackets in the tree, just so they could get them down!
Crazy Boys!!!

I love these boys!