small difference

This was how we had to go for a walk on Tuesday

This was on Wednesday when we got home
Just a small difference!
Oh and have I mentioned lately how much I love this man!

We're Home!!!

So we finally broke Clint out of the hospital Wednesday! It's so nice to have him home! I am pretty nervous about him not being at the hospital, especially since we came home to 2 boys with fevers :( I just tried to make sure that the boys stayed away from him the last couple days! They all seem to be fine now, no fevers, so hopefully Clint won't catch anything from them!
We finally have a tentative plan for transplant. It looks like Darren (Clints oldest brother) is a perfect match so he will be the donor. Clint gets to stay home until June 8th when he will be readmitted to start 6 days of radiation, 2 days of chemo, and 1 day of rest before they will transplant Darrens harvested bone marrow into him. Then he will be in the hospital to wait for the marrow to graft and his counts to recover for another 4-6 weeks.
We are feeling so blessed that Darren is a match and even more blessed that he is willing to do this for Clint. I want Darren & Denise to know how thankful we are to them! We love you guys!

Outside!!!

Yesterday after 33 days being stuck on east 8 they finally let Clint go for a walk outside! It was a pretty exciting thing. It was a little chilly but it was such a beautiful morning. He still has to wear his mask, gloves, and germ suit (he lovingly calls it his sweat suit) but he didn't care at all because he was outside!!! We walked around for quite a while until we both were getting too cold, neither of us had a jacket. I do have to say that it is really beautiful up here in the avenues, and they were even more amazing yesterday because I got to walk around them with my hubby! We weren't able to go outside today because of the snow (really snow, what's up with that!). But hopefully tomorrow we'll be able to get outside again!
Clint's counts finally moved up a little bit today, he is now at 200 neutraphils! Woohoo! Our Dr seemed pretty confident that they would keep coming up. He said maybe Wednesday would be the day. Who really knows at this point, but sometime soon we will definitely be taking him home :) Everyone keep thinking positive neutraphil thoughts and maybe we can help get them up. Love you all!

It's Saturday.....and we're still at the hospital

So we were hoping today would be the big day. But unfortunately Clint's neutrophils have a mind of their own and are taking their sweet time coming back. They are still only at 100, but everything else is looking pretty good so they keep telling us any day they could just shoot up. The doctors are hopeful that early next week we will get out of here, so we're keeping our fingers crossed for that!
Clint is feeling great! He is still walking and riding the bike everyday. It's just getting harder and harder to be stuck in here because he feels so good. He thinks the first thing he's going to do when he gets out is go golfing. The doctor said if he feels up to it then to have at it, so you might see him out on the golf course next week :)
Right now he is feeling pretty free, our nurse today unhooked him! He doesn't have any IV meds due until 9 tonight so about 3:00 after his last antibiotic got done Tony (our awesome nurse today) just unhooked the saline too. Clint is loving it! He said he was pretty tempted to just get dressed, put on his hat and see how far he'd get before someone noticed he was gone. I think his favorite part is not having to haul the stupid IV stand into the bathroom every time he needs to go :)

Nik & Nate had their last soccer game today and they did awesome! It was so cold, is it May really? I'm gonna miss going to soccer on Saturday mornings but it is also nice to have one less thing to worry about forgetting (my brain definitely does not work well these days) They had such a great team and coach this year, I'm almost scared to sign them up again because we probably won't get that lucky again. But they love soccer and I can't wait to see them keep improving. I do think Noah will be glad that soccer is over for now. He didn't really love watching the games and he really didn't love that he didn't get a treat after the game :)

So here's to hoping we'll be home soon!

4 Weeks....and finally some counts!!!

It was 4 weeks ago today that we got the phone call that changed our world. In some ways it seems like just yesterday Clint was home and he was fine, and in other ways it seems like we have been at this hospital forever!
We finally got some good news today...his neutrophils are at 100 (we need to be at 500 to take him home) so we're hoping maybe this weekend we can get him out of here! Yay!!! Clint keeps saying that Saturday is gonna be the day so I guess we'll see if he's right! He is sooooo ready to get out of here!
He is still feeling good. He's been walking and riding a stationary bike everyday. They say that the people who keep exercising through all the treatment do the best so I bug him all the time about it. I am fairly certain that some days (okay let's be honest, most days) he wants to kill me, but oh well I am going to do whatever it takes to get him better!

In other news...it's been a pretty busy few days for the boys. Noah had his preschool program on Tuesday and Nik & Nate had their dance festival today. Noah struggled a little at his program. He would not go sit up with his class unless I went with him :( So guess who got to sit up front with the kids during the entire program! Yeah it was tons of fun. I don't know what to do with that kid lately. I think he is struggling with Clint being gone a lot more than the other two. He is daddy's little boy so he's having a hard time not being able to be with Clint. And I'm sure he doesn't understand why pretty much everything in his world has changed lately. Hopefully having daddy home for a week or two will help him out.
Here are a couple pictures of Noah. Keep in mind, this is after the program is over, that's why he is so happy!

Ms. Jennifer, Noah, Ms. Amber

Noah and his book he made. Don't you love his 3 pieces of hair!

Nik & Nate had their dance festival today. They were so cute! They did the macarena. Since I sat on the opposite side of where they danced (of course) I didn't get very good video for Clint. So when we got home I asked them to do a mini version to show dad. So here it is

Are they not the cutest! Love it!
Well I'm off to bed...long day. Thanks to everyone for all of your prayers and support. We feel so blessed and so loved every day!

More Waiting....and some soccer

I figured it has been way too long since I put a picture of our cute boys on here. So here you go. I took this today after Nik & Nate's soccer game. Do we not have the 3 cutest boys ever!!!

Nik & Nate have had so much fun playing soccer this year! They had an amazing coach who made it so much fun for the kids. Their team name is Hot Lava on Fire and they have a really good little team. So far they are undefeated and with only 1 game left I think they'll have a perfect season :) Thanks Coach Fry it's been a blast!

In leukemia news...we are still just waiting for Clints white cell count to come up so we can take him home for a while. They think it could be early this next week. His platelets and red blood counts are up and they said the white count usually follows. He is definitely excited to get a little break from this hospital, that's for sure!
In transplant news...they are in the process of testing his siblings (thanks for being tested guys, we love you). It sounds like the results will take a couple weeks to get back, so right now we are just praying that one of them is a match so we can get started with the transplant process.
From what it sounds like we will probably get to go home for a week or two as soon as his counts come up and then if one of his siblings match we will start getting prepared for the transplant. If they don't match then he will be put on the transplant list and hopefully find a match on the donor registry, but that will probably take a while so we will have to start consolidation chemo in the meantime.

He is feeling really good right now. His rash is almost completely gone and his cough is not bad at all anymore. His hair is starting to fall out. He can pull big chunks out and it is getting pretty thin all over. But he still looks smokin hot!

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such amazing people!

No News Is Way Better Than Bad News

I think that both Clint and I were a little shocked with the news today.
Things had been going so good the last few days, no problems at all.
He breezed right through the chemo.
I think we just got too comfortable.
We both were thinking, 'Okay we can do this'.

And then the test results came back.....
something that was supposed to be positive was negative, something that was supposed to be this was that...
and in the end it puts us in the bad category.

So Clint will be needing a bone marrow transplant.

Now don't get me wrong we are still thinking, 'Okay we can do this'. But we are also thinking 'I guess we don't get to take the easy route' and 'this really sucks!'

I don't know a ton about what the transplant route entails. Hopefully they'll be in tomorrow to answer some questions and give us some more information.

Have I mentioned lately that I am married to the most amazing man in the world! When he tells me the news today (yes i was gone, of course they pick the 2 hours i'm not here to tell him bad news! but i can't really blame the docs because i'm pretty sure clint forced it out of them) he just says 'Oh well, just another bump in the road, we'll get through it'. How amazing is he. I can't even begin to tell you how strong he has been through all of this. He is a rock. He is MY rock!

Please keep the thoughts and prayers coming. They are needed more than ever! Thanks!

Happy Mothers Day

First of all I want to give a shout out to all of the mothers in my life. I'm so lucky to be surrounded by amazing examples of motherhood each and every day. Today I am especially grateful for my mom and Clints mom. These two amazing women (along with our amazing dads) have been vital to my surviving the last 19 days. They have been my shoulder to cry on, they have taken wonderful care of our sweet boys, they have packed up our house, they have allowed me to be here for Clint without having to worry about anything else...the list could go on forever! I look up to them so much and want them both to know how much I love and respect them. Mom, please take care of yourself and get better soon, I love you! Happy Mothers Day!!!

So Saturday was the big move, thanks to all that came to help. I know I say it all the time but we really have the best family and friends around! It is so nice to have it all done so I don't have to think about it anymore. It was a rough day for me just because I was really missing Clint. He made me go home Friday night so I could be there early to get things done before the move. It was a really long night. I could not sleep at all. It was really hard being in our bed without him. As bad as this pullout chair/bed thing at the hospital is I definitely get more sleep here then I did at home, although it was nice to be able to hug the boys and see them when they were sleeping. I used to check on them every night before I would go to sleep and it was really nice to be able to do that Friday night.

Not too much has been happening around here. Still just waiting on those test results to see where we stand on the bad to worse leukemia scale. They decided that Clint is allergic to imipenem (one of his many antibiotics) so that is what they think has been causing his rash. But now that he's been off that for a while his rash is clearing up really well. His central line site is also healing really well. Since nothing has grown in any of the cultures they took from it they think it might have not been infected but just got really inflamed because of the severity of his rash. I am just thankful that the rash was not from the chemo, since he will obviously be getting more of that. And that would have sucked if he would have gotten that rash every time he had to have chemo. I finally got him to let me take some pictures tonight. Now remember we're kind of on the tail end of this rash, so it used to look a lot worse :) These pictures are of his legs.

Crazy huh? And the pictures do not even begin to show how bad this rash really is.

In better news Clint did get a picc line put in on Friday. This will be so nice for him since they can now do his blood draws out of the picc line instead of poking him twice or more a day (it's especially fun when they would come in at 3 in the morning to do a blood draw, not only would they turn on the bright light they would then have to poke him, I'm sure he'll miss that!). We are now officially on day 4 with no high fevers woohoo! Also, his cough seems to be getting better too! So all in all he seems to be doing really well. At this point they are just waiting for his counts to come up so we can go home for a week or so before we start the next round. It'll be so nice to have him home for a while!

I have to give a shout out to my little brother Chris. He is serving a mission in Alaska right now(6 more weeks:). Today is his birthday, and since it also happens to be mothers day he got to call home. Since we weren't able to be there he was also able to call us at the hospital! It was so good to talk to him, he sounds like he's doing awesome! I'm so proud of him and the work he is doing spreading the gospel. We love you Elder Dorton, finish strong!

Well we're off to bed. Please keep us in your prayers, they are needed and felt! Thank you!

Another Day, More Waiting

So I was planning on going home today to finish going through the house. Clint was supposed to be getting his bone marrow biopsy tomorrow so I thought if I went home today I could just not worry about driving home tomorrow. But then the doctor came in. She told us with all that's going on with Clints rash and central line they decided not to do a bone marrow biopsy. She said that even if his counts from the biopsy weren't great they wouldn't put him on any more chemo right now so there was no reason to do the biopsy. Instead she decided to do a cat scan to make sure there wasn't anything crazy going on under his central line site. Then infectious disease came in and were pretty impressed with his rash, but they said they were just going to keep things the same since they'd already changed around his antibiotics. They also looked at his central line site but they thought it looked like the redness was starting to recede, and the cat scan didn't show anything, so they decided to leave it alone too. So pretty much with all the people we saw and all the tests they did today we still don't really know anything new. And with them not doing a biopsy tomorrow it looks like we'll just have to keep waiting patiently before we learn any more about where we stand on the leukemia risk scale. I'm trying to learn this whole patience thing but so far I'm not very good at it :( Oh and fyi...I'm still trying to talk Clint into letting me take a picture of his rash to post. It is really cool looking. I'll keep trying and hopefully post one soon :)

So needless to say I didn't make it home today. But on a positive note we got some webcams hooked up so we can say goodnight to the boys and they can see Clint every day. They think it's pretty fun to see us on the computer (although I think they like to see themselves on the computer more than us :) We really miss giving them squeezes every night but it is nice to at least be able to see them. We sure love those little guys!

I just want to thank my family and Clints family for all the work they did at the house today without me. You guys are lifesavers and I'll never be able to repay you for all you are doing for us right now! Thank You!

Moving Sucks

Just in case any of you don't know, moving really sucks! Especially when your hubby is in the hospital with leukemia! This is our 3rd move in about 6 months and is definitely the hardest. Not because I'm attached to the house we are in now (don't get me wrong I will miss the deer in the yard everyday and the orchard next door) but because I just don't want to make the time to do it. As I have said before I am already feeling guilty about dividing my time between Clint and the boys, and now I have to make time for one more thing! Everyone has been so great asking what they can do to help but there are so many things that I just have to go through, to see what I need to take to my parents and what can go into storage and so forth. It all just takes so long! I feel like I'm away from Clint all day and hardly accomplish anything at all. The hospital seems to get farther and farther away everytime I leave Clint here. I know that he is very well taken care of here, but I just want to be here, I just need to be here, I just want to spend every minute of every day here with him. He tells me he's fine, and I think he actually likes some time alone, but I'm not fine when I'm not here. It's a lot easier to hold it all together with him next to me.
Sorry for all the complaining, it's been a really long day today.

In leukemia news...Clint's fever finally broke, yeah! He didn't have a fever for a lot of yesterday and today. And even when he has had one it has not been nearly as high as Saturday & Sunday. They say his counts are still looking good. Still no more news about what risk group he is in. They will be doing another bone marrow biopsy on Thursday, so make sure you keep him in your prayers that the biopsy will go smoothly (and relatively painlessly :) and the results will be good news! His rash is starting to spread a bit and is a little more itchy, but doesn't seem to bother him too much! His central line site is still really red so they are still concerned about it. They were supposed to have infectious disease come and check it out today but they never showed up. Hopefully it'll start getting better soon so he can get a pick line put in. His poor arms are beat up because now they have to poke him at least twice a day to draw blood, plus he has an IV in each arm! Other than his cough he seems to be feeling pretty good. He is pretty tired because his stupid cough kept him up most of the night (me too). But hopefully tonight will be better. The pulmonologist was in today and said after having pnemonia a cough can last for a few weeks to a month in someone with a normal immune system, so he should probably plan on having it for a while since he has no immune system :( But on the upside the pnemonia is completely gone and his lungs sound great! I guess we just have to take the good with the bad.

I thought I'd put a happier picture of Clint with this post...so here is my favorite man in my favorite place, Love It!!!

I know I've said it before but I am so thankful for all the prayers being offered on our behalf. We truly can feel them. And again I'm so thankful for our families and friends, we are so blessed!

Crappy Day

So yesterday Clint had the worst day so far here in the hospital. He has had really high fevers the last couple days again. It got up to 40.6 which is about 105 degrees, so obviously they are concerned about that. So they decided to take his central line out because they were fairly certain it was infected. So they filled him full of platelets and then came in to take it out. I only walked in for the last couple minutes but thankfully Travis was here with him, because I would've felt horrible if he'd been here alone for it. When I walked in he looked like death warmed over. His face was so pale and he was in so much pain he was shivering! Travis said it was pretty horrific, and I think both him and Clint had a hard time not punching the PA who did it! They didn't give him ANY pain meds at all! They just came in and ripped it out and then the PA was grinding & pushing on it (keep in mind it hurt to even touch anywhere near it) to try and squeeze all the infection out. They finally gave him some IV pain meds AFTER it was all over and luckily that seemed to work pretty fast. But I just really don't understand why they didn't give him pain meds or something BEFORE they tortured him! I think that the PA, Curt, better not show his face around here again or it won't be pretty!

He is still fevering today, his temp was at 39.8 last it was checked and the poor guy is shivering so bad. I just want to wrap him up in a big quilt but I know that would just make it worse. I just feel so helpless watching him feel so crappy and not being able to do anything to help him, I hate it!

In other news, we have decided to move to my parents house for now. I just think it will be good for the boys to have a little more stability, and from what we do know, even best case scenario this is gonna be a fairly long process to get Clint healthy. So yesterday I started to move some of our stuff over there and hopefully this weekend we'll be able to move all of our other stuff into storage. We are so lucky that we both have such amazing families that are willing to help us out so much. We love you guys!

So here's hoping and praying that today will be a better day! And keep your fingers crossed that we can get rid of these infections and especially these stupid fevers!!!